The magic of aloneness; the gift of companionship.

Being alone is magic. No festering worries, and the focus of your life is you. No need to justify your when and how, and your why’s don’t need a reason. 

But people are like rainfall after a long scorching day. When you are not too busy hating that they are in your face, you love them for the coolness their touch brings, and the company of their limbs sliding down your window pane.

There is a time for everything. A time to be alone and let be. And a time to be with people, and let be. And every season with its own gift.

*

I wrote this piece on my way out this morning. I was a bit worried for having delayed a friend and his phone happened to be switched off, so I couldn’t reach him… and then this barrage of thoughts blew up in my mind, such that it occurred to me how much more I love solitude and being by myself than when other people are in the picture. Because with people, you worry; with people, you care— maybe a little too much, maybe a little un-enough, but it’s there. But companionship is just as beautiful. Sometimes, knowing someone counts on you, relies on you; knowing that you are needed or wanted is the only motivation you need to push yourself out of bed on a cold rainy day like this one.

Are you a solitary person? Are you your happiest with people or when alone? When alone, by fate or chance, do you ever miss the companionship of others? Share with me people. ❤️❤️

*

© The Short Black Girl, 2018.

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14 thoughts on “The magic of aloneness; the gift of companionship.

  1. I have recently found that i am a solitary person. Back in school, I use to be a people’s person…always surrounded by people, always the life of the party, always the fun and social one, creating new ideas for bonding and all.

    After school, I suddenly realized that I truly did love my space…I was happiest when I was alone…I did not miss the companionship of others (and maybe I did a little when my siblings were not at home because we were always together until university broke us apart but that was where it stopped)…I would make up all the excuses not to go out with anyone, just snuggling on my bed – binge watching movies, playing games and eating junks…I was very comfortable alone.

    When I started working, I found out I was a mix of both with a better part of being solitary. I started making conscious efforts to go out with friends and spend weekends with them because if I didn’t do that, I would spend my weekends alone, in my bed doing same ol’ stuffs and making excuses of why I couldn’t go out – of course the excuse being that ‘I was busy – doing nothing.’

    I am still a long way from trying to balance both and maybe companionship will come later or maybe not…I’d love to be happy with me alone and know that I can stay alone even in old age without necessarily missing that companion – did I make sense? Yikes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely, yes Dee!

      I have felt at war with myself most times, while trying to balance both out. It gets as bad as me feeling awful sometimes after I have talked so much for so long… I start to feel, shucks did I let out too much? It’s as if I have kept quiet for too long that the next best chance I got to speak, I went all out. 😂😂

      So, I get you. And I think that like @Su’eddie said, it’s a curse/blessing of the creatives. We have the days when we want to be alone and the days when the companionship counts and goes a long long way.

      Thank you for your contribution and I wish you all the very best as you move towards your point of balance. ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Rofiah…and while I agree it is good for your body to let it all out, it is also good to sometimes, hold it all in.

        We all need to talk to ourselves at some point and those things we’ve held in for so long, help us start that conversations with ourselves…we don’t know when we finally let it all out to the wall, talk back to ourselves in form of a therapy and feel the most relief. I am no psychopath but I am sure you understand what I just wrote.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel that solitude is best for my creative work, because you do need that amount of self-consciousness and concentration, and you need to immerse yourself in your self, to be highly sensitive to the narrative of your body and your mind in that vortex of creativity and composition. Good companionship makes my (often dull) world suddenly lively…it’s like how you have stayed alone in the dark for so long, and the presence of other human beings just starts peopling that darkness like little fireflies and paper lanterns. Sounds enter, light and warmth appear. I agree that with companionship there comes worry, and the possibility of hurt and misunderstanding, but in general I think if I like my companion, if we enjoy each other’s company, then companionship can be just as fruitful as solitude, in a way. The worst thing for me is, I think, being thrown into an environment in which you feel obligated to keep the company of people who you don’t particularly care about (and vice versa) but have to live with…like with unfriendly colleagues in a work place. Or being in a relationship that feels increasingly forced and unsavoury, where colourful passions fade into blandness and conversations fall into voluminous silence. But oh, it is such a paradox, isn’t it? We keep drifting into and out of other people’s company, trying to find a shoulder to lean on, a heart to empathise with, a soul to love and cherish, and yet still, we crave the freedom of solitude. I think the best state of mind is to be able to embrace the mysterious complexity of human relationships, while at the same time, enjoy solitude without losing sight of who we are and what we want.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I like “companionship can be just as fruitful as solitude” and I love your mind Zoe. No wonder it was easy to become quick friends with you.

      I totally agree with you, and yes, it is a paradox! We live searching for love, and all the while long for the moment when we are truly able to meet ourselves in all the places that we hide.

      Thank you for your contribution Zoe. You couldn’t have said it any better. Importantly, the best place to be is being able to appreciate the gift of having one another and also the grace of our own solitude when words escape us.

      I love you darling! ❤️❤️

      Like

  3. Oh! So, when you were coming out to meet me, and kept me waiting, this is what was going on in your mind? Aha! I should have guessed. Okay o… Well done, Ma!

    On the post though…
    We creatives always have a mix of both, don’t we?
    I find myself in the middle of both most times. There are those days and there are those days.

    Is there’s a line where both should meet?
    A fine new day here. May grace speak and the times be kind.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. More of a solitary person than otherwise.

    However, I enjoy both. Craving company can be hard sometimes, sometimes it’s not understood that companionship does not require (lots of talking). To simply know and be together in silence can be more than enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed Tony! Sometimes, sharing a silent space with a most cherished friend is one of the best gifts of life. Knowing without saying, understanding the sighs and pulses and feeling comfortable enough to not want to escape into meaningless chatter. It’s just beautiful. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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