Musings: Hey, it’s not that deep!


Picture source: The Wannabesaint


We love to be seen as happy and fulfilled, mostly– intentionally or subconsciously; so that when that awesome thing is happening in our lives, we are more inclined to picture-save it and share it with the world; than when we are hurting, or falling or failing. It is nature. It is the human nature. Ever so often, we wear that make-believe smile and don that pitch-perfect demeanour, not much to deceive the world as to convince ourselves that we are okay, that we are fine, that we are alright, and nothing can and will take us down. Call it denial. Call it inspiration. But it is what it is. Fake it until you become it, right?

In this age of social media, a haven of udpates for those that want to keep in touch and keep informed, we must remember all of these things each time we get on there and and scroll through those awesome pictures of friends and families, and rising stars and super stars; and start to feel a little less happy or a little less of an achiever. We must remember, as we see the dazzling cars and the dimpled smiles, and cuddly couples, and stylish poses; that every picture bears a story, a story we do not know, a journey experienced; one that we may never fully understand. We must remember that each person, like us, would only share with the world what they wish to share; what they think is beneficial to them, to how they feel and how we feel about them. But it is never the full story.

Remember the last time you thought to put a picture of you online (I remember!), and importantly, remember how you had shuffled through your gallery, severally, until you found THAT ONE (often I would snap 30 pictures, and delete 29. Am I the only one who does this? Haha!), that said so much but not too much; and remember too, those days you had filtered and un-filtered and re-filtered until it looked just like IT, just because. Remember this, and begin to see that those pictures (of friends and families, and neighbours and acquaintances) should not/never define you. They should not be a bench-mark upon which you weigh your worth, or life, or status, or achievements. It is not that deep, and no one is really having it easier, you see. Small man, big troubles; big man, small troubles– but trouble is trouble, yes? Know that much as the rest of the world seems to appear perfect, they are human like you; and each person, like you, is a sum of HIS own good and bad experiences. And you, like everyone else, are a sum of YOUR good and bad experiences. And your life is beautiful. And you will be fine.

Appreciate people’s journeys, it is very important; but more importantly, respect your own. The Universe is on your side, I promise. ♡♡


© The Short Black Girl, 2017.


7 thoughts on “Musings: Hey, it’s not that deep!

  1. Nice!

    We call it packaging. Or putting ones best foot forward as the oyinbos would call it.

    So, sometimes, we do that because we are feeling less than happy with our lives, a reaction to seeing others’ lives. We don’t want to feel left out.

    Plus, we live in a world that demands perfection and everyone of us is under pressure – so much pressure. Why do we have filters and photoshop? We are subtly being reminded of our imperfections and told to tweak those imperfections- a little or much, depending on how far from perfect we are – before presenting ourselves to the world. We are being told that we would not be accepted unless we are perfect. There goes our acceptance of people for who they are.

    My favorite lines:
    1. Every picture has a story.
    And that story is hidden in the pixels. The more high definition a picture is, the more ugliness has been buried. The more perfect a picture looks the more imperfection has been hidden

    2. The Universe is on your side, I promise.
    Sounds good and feels good. Honestly, I’m not sure I agree. The Universe is a monster, always looking for new ways to harm, maim, kill and destroy; and it does that using fancy names. Irma. Harvey. Ebola. Mutation. And it has infected the people in it too- men harming men. Terror. Rape. Violence. Nuclear weapons.
    I think the Universe is against us. Somehow, we will survive and pull through. By Faith, Love and Hope. Kindness too. And Patience.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Packaging, yes! Haha. And this other term then comes to mind: “keeping up with the Jones'”. Sigh!

      Indeed, it is an irony, that we are being told to accept one another for who we are, and are yet being coerced (more or less) into distorting our own reality and creating versions that will be more acceptable to the world at large. So the lesson is not really about being accepted, rather it is about being acceptable.

      About the Universe, I am highly infatuated with the concept of that word and what it might stand for: bearing in mind the fact that this word, for many people, means a host of things; so my defence of its divinity may come quite natural. I like to think that the Universe in itself: the sum of things known but not really known, existing but not fully understood, the forces of nature– is on our side. Yes, there is a lot of evil being perpetrated, ones with names that elude man’s imagination… I, however, think that a lot of these things are man’s inventions (in many ways than one), whether through negligence or greed or ignorance. We, humans, are very much against ourselves. But then, what do I really know about these things? Life happens. Personally though, I have had moments, when i thought the Universe was against me; but through those moments, I have found, in the end, that what worked, worked for the best and what didn’t work, was for the best as well. I guess, just as you said, it is a matter of faith and hope, and immense belief. It is not as much as what we believe in, as it is the fact that we believe. And when we believe, amazing things happen.

      We will be fine. We will be.

      Thank you doctor. ♡♡

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Black Mirror Season 3 Episode 1 titled “NoseDive”.

    Black Mirror is a series that infused the mordern day lifestyle with a futuristic technology. In it are mordern day people doing mordern day things with very simple technologies to aid in their lifestyle.

    This particular episode talked about how “the need” to be liked by a larger percentage of people around you. Be it strangers, your inner circle, whoever. With a rating of between 0.0 to 5.0, one needs to get as high as much likes or “stars” as one can.

    Lacie Pound has a rating of 4.2 with a brother whose rating is 3.4. She feels he hasn’t achieved as much as he should and somehow from my own point of view he is way happy than she is. He is not taking it as serious as she is. I’m living my life, I don’t have to go around for everyone to like me, at least that’s what I think he thinks. But the stars gathered by other friends gets her worried. A friend she hadn’t in a long time spoken with was with a rating of 4.8 and still gaining. Like damn!!! How does she do it? Right? That wasn’t what I was thinking but Lacie was worried for herself, she wanted more. She seeked more likes. She befriended “again” her “mean” friend.

    Turns out her mean friend is not as happy as she thinks friend. And in Laice’s pursuit for likeness “ratings”, ended up on a slippery slope.

    You don’t have to fake that smile to make that smile. Don’t pretend to be happy, be happy. Every picture definitely has a story, every rating has a story. No one owes anybody their life story, be it cloudy with a chance of meat balls or sunny with a chance of rain… Just live, and if sadness comes do what you will with it. You are not weak if you can cry, you aren’t weak if you aren’t happy. It’s life, Fuck It, that’s life.

    The Universe is not always on anyones side. Take a look at Irma or Harvey, Benue, or every other disaster that has happened, maybe she is on Earth’s side.

    Lovely write-up “Me”. May your heart smile than your brain worries.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wawu! Amazing synopsis, really! Sounds like a series everyone should see!

      I have learnt some things from your comment, and will definitely take this home: “You don’t have to fake that smile to make that smile. Don’t pretend to be happy, be happy. Every picture definitely has a story, every rating has a story. No one owes anybody their life story, be it cloudy with a chance of meat balls or sunny with a chance of rain… Just live, and if sadness comes do what you will with it. You are not weak if you can cry, you aren’t weak if you aren’t happy. It’s life, Fuck It, that’s life.”

      We are not made to be “fine”, but to be all of who and what we are, and keep afloat through all of life’s experiences. There is indeed a lesson to be learnt at every point in our lives; and we do not learn these lessons by “pretending to live” but by living. And even more, as the famous quote says, “comparison is a thief of joy”. We must do us, for us, because of us. It is hard, sometimes, but we must never stop learning how to be the best version of ourselves.

      Thank you Bees for your thought-provoking comment and insight.

      I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s