Perks of being a girl? Really? I have had to broach on this topic, albeit subtly, on more than one occasion, and I am yet to fully submit to the notion that girls are having it any easier than guys in life. There are many dimensions to this argument, but i’ll focus more on the relationship angle. The first jarring moment on this issue had been at a girl’s hang out, where we launched on the discussion of relationships, and it was only natural that we moved on to weigh in on who suffered the toughest moments, the guys or girls?
For centuries, the male folk have been known to do the ‘wooing, asking, and chyking‘; and the female folk have had the liberty to ‘tune in’ or ‘turn smack down’ on their advances. Money would be spent, time will be made, words will be exhausted– but in the end, if sisi doesn’t think bobo is the one, no show. And that sucks! And if bobo doesn’t back down, sometimes, sisi will play the acceptee to drain bobo’s money. There goes the Maga, abi? Believe me when I say I know how much of a heart-smart that can be. So let’s say 1- 0.
Moving on, imagine that sisi actually thought bobo was the one, and they got things on. First date, first kiss. Sisi is a good girl, so she doesn’t want to have sex– but bobo can’t deal. He says it means she doesn’t love him. He says he wants to marry her, so kini big deal? Sisi thinks about this. She prays about it too. A few weeks down the line, Sisi gives in and bobo smashes. Sisi is head over heels– the boy is good, but the sex is better. Bobo sticks around too because sisi gives good head and knows a couple of magic tricks in bed; plus hey, sisi can coooook! So, yes, bobo sticks around. It is looking like happily ever after, until something stupid happens– like cheating, like lying, like bobo just being a guy. So 1-1 abi?
But hey, really, is it that simple? The way I see it, we all have our moments. Girls are more poised to being cared for, protected, fought for, granted concessions; but it doesn’t always happen that way. Guys are more poised to being feared, respected, pleased; but it doesn’t always happen that way. Why? Because life! An average guy would do as much to get in a lady’s pants, as an average lady would to help a guy spend his money. An average guy would do as much to win a girls heart, as an average lady would to make a guy stay in love with her. I mean, it goes both ways, right? Girls are cheated on, guys are cheated on. There are just as many ‘yoruba male demons’ as there are ‘yoruba female demons’. Equation solved, no?
I don’t know all there is to be known about being human, talk more of being in a relationship; but I can talk about the little I have heard, read and seen. So, in the end, I think that trying to analyse who has it easier, is like trying to put joy and suffering on a linear scale of some sort. We are who we are. We have our joys, and sugar-moments. People love us, we love some back, others we can’t. And we love people too, some of whom love us back; others who don’t, because they can’t. And it is simply what it is. There are perks of being a girl, yes! But we are human, so we hurt, break, fail, and fall. Life doesn’t exempt us from its woes. And no, you don’t even want to get me started on how colourful our pains can be. No, you don’t. But these are just my thoughts…
What do you think? Do girls have it any easier than guys? What are the perks of being a girl? What are the perks of being a guy? Please share!
PS: Yesterday, Miniscule Diary turned TWO years old. Yayyy! Thank you all so much for sticking around, for believing in me, and for reading my almost-touche-cliched posts. You all are beyond amazing. Thank you. For yesterday. For now. For everyday.
© The Short Black Girl, 2016.