Secrets of a Virgin Girl (7).

See here for previous episode.

**

Hola fam! This is another long episode, but the last of the series, SOVG. Thank you again for all the feedback. You are amazing! I say we do this again, sometime soon. What say you?  😍😘😉😊

_____

Relapse

It is Sunday—the weekend after, and you toss lazily in bed, snippets of last night slipping into your head. You and Sogo had gone to have dinner at your parent’s as discussed last week. He had arrived at your house something around 4:00pm yesterday and you had both driven down to your parents Magodo apartment in time for dinner. Mama and Papa had received you both warmly. Papa had seemed thoroughly charmed, as he engaged Sogo in a variety of discussions of interest—his major preferences being Politics and the state of the Nigerian Economy. Sogo’s responses, you reckoned, had been well thought-out, bold and independent—of Social media retorts and comments; and in fact pleasing to Papa, as you noticed the glint of approval in his eyes. Mama, on the other hand, appeared a little undecided, maybe less so than when she first set eyes on him that evening; but undecided, nonetheless.

She had asked questions, which you considered too intimidating and embarrassing for a first meeting; and had time not been so short, she would have gone on indefinitely. “What do you want with our daughter?” “Do you feel intimidated by her success?” “Do you know she is a virgin?” The way Sogo had confidently answered her, though, did so much to put your mind at ease. By the end of the meeting, Papa’s warm handshake as he bid you both goodbye, assured you that Sogo had won Papa’s love. The impish smile on mama’s lips however, did not give away too much; but the way she had held your gaze assured you that you would hear from her soon. You had held her gaze with matching strength too, in a way that said you would be ready whenever she struck!

Her call comes in around 8:00am, steering you from your reminiscence. You were not expecting her call this early but you pick it nonetheless.

“Good morning ma” you address her, your voice thick with rebellion.

“Morning Lara. How are you today?”

“Fine ma” you respond impatiently. You wish she would just get to the point already and not try to soften you up.

“See, I know you are angry that I asked your friend so many questions yesterday, but that is what any good mother would do. I must know what my daughter is getting into, and assure myself that she has not let love blind her judgement of her man’s character, worth and capability. And I must say, he is one fine gentleman.”

Surprise steals over your face, as her kind words ebb at the remnants of rage that seat in the pit of your heart, effortlessly. You smile. “I know ma. Thank you ma.”

“In fact—“ she continues, “—your dad and I called Daddy-in-the-Lord yesterday night to inform him that his god daughter will be getting married. He was very excited, until he called this morning to tell us that he prayed about it and you cannot marry him.”

Your rage returns. Daddy-in-the-Lord is your godfather, a spiritual and very inspiring man whom you respect and revere so much. Your family has always consulted him every time there is a big decision to be made, and his suggestions and predictions have always proved right; although now that you think of it, no one has actually ever dared to prove him wrong.

“It is frightening enough that he is Muslim and from a Polygamous family—“ mama continues, undeterred by your silence, “—but if those were the only considerations we had to make, the decision would have been an easy one. Omolara, this is bigger than us. Daddy says you must cease all relations with him immediately, and that if you choose to proceed, the consequences are grave for your future as a family together.”

You are speechless now.

“See Lara, I know you love him. In fact, yesterday, it was so obvious that you both care for each other but there is too much at stake. All I want is your happiness, because automatically, it becomes my own happiness. And your father, and Daddy want the same for you too. We know you’ll be needing a lot of time to take this in, and get over him; but I want you to know that we care for you and we are here for you, and in God’s time, your miracle will come.”

You still do not say a word. Tears are brewing in your eyes now; and soon, they start to fall mercilessly. You let them. You do not believe in miracles anymore.

“Hello? Are you there?—Lara?—Lara?” You do not answer. “MTN sha! They have started again this morning! Lara?— ”

“Maybe you have exhausted your call time.” You hear papa’s suggesting voice underneath.

“Lara?” mama calls out to you one last time before cutting the call. Immediately, you switch your phone off and resume your tears in full gear. Why?! Why has love never worked out for you? It has either been that the ones you liked did not like you back, or you did not like the ones that liked you. Yet, the first time you eventually meet someone who cares for you as much as you care for him, you are told you cannot marry him. You wish now that you were in a movie, so that you could just put a daunting soundtrack like Simi’s Love don’t care or Chidima’s All I want is you to your life as you diss mama and tell her you will marry the love of your life whether she or anyone else likes it or not. But life, reality—is a little more complicated than all of that.

You love each other, but is love really worth sabotaging your future for? Would it not be selfish of love to ask you to pick short-term happiness over long-term sustenance and fulfillment? But then again, what is a fulfilling life without genuine love? You are confused and angry! Why? Why did God make you meet him? Why did He make you fall in love? Why did He put that sign in your way on that Sunday morning when you asked for His direction? More questions and no answer, and your rage intensifies. You force yourself to sleep now to douse your heart’s heat, hoping that maybe you will wake up to realize everything is a dream; no love, no heartbreak.

You wake up an hour and thirty minutes later to the reality of your woe, when the smell of something tangy fills your nostrils. You head out, puffy eyed to find Sogo in your kitchen, fixing breakfast.

“Good morning Sunshine!” he coos upon seeing you.

You break inside as it hits you that, perhaps, that is the last time you will hear that voice and see that smile. “Good morning–” you manage a smile “—I think we need to talk.” You continue, wasting no time.

You catch something that looks like fear pull his eyebrows together in a brilliant squeeze, but you do not let that deter you; as you recount the gist of the discussion you had with mama to him before you change your mind. Once you are done, for emphasis sake, you add, “We cannot continue seeing each other, Olorunsogo. And I am sure you understand that I am doing this for us.”

“So… so that’s it?” he questions, his voice spiralling higher and higher by the second “that’s—that’s it, right? After six months of love, courtship and friendship, you want to break up just like that, and you do not even care what I think or feel? You think I have not thought about our vast differences severally? You think I have not had people tell me to give us a rethink?  I have… but I have not been so quick to dismiss what we’ve come so long to build; something you obviously do not appreciate the gravity of!”

You are angry and surprised. Angry that he thinks it was an easy decision for you to make; surprised that he would speak to you in that manner, lashing words at you like a weapon. But you have not got time for words. You have not got the time or energy to explain to him how you wish he had never been a part of your life to start with, so you would not be in the dilemma of whether to rescue the moment or save a very uncertain future from some foretold danger. “Thank you for making breakfast. I would appreciate it if you leave as soon as possible. You do not have to tell me when you are going. I am sorry, and thank you.” You walk away from him now, but he pulls you back into a defeating kiss. You break down again, as you melt in his arms; renting apart in a fresh round of tears. He hugs you tightly, like he has never done before; like he will never do again.

“Omolara, you are a believer. Where is your faith at a time that we need it most? Why are you proposing a break up, rather than a prayer battle?”

Faith? Fighting? You wish he had not said a word so that maybe you could have stayed in his arms longer. You pull away now with resolute purpose, as you say your final words to him before leaving for your room “Goodbye Olorunsogo Martins. I hope you have a good life.” He does not try to stop you now. Even if he did, it would make no difference; because your mind is made up. In less than thirty minutes, you hear the loud bang of your front door, the sound of a vehicle being kicked into ignition, and the screeching sound of angry tyres or perhaps an angry driver.

And then, it dawns on you– he is going; he is gone. Your best friend, your first love. You remember the hope in his eyes, and how he had wished you would not end things so quickly. You remember the last kiss, and how you had wished it would go on for eternity. You soak up in tears. You miss him already. You feel like love has failed you; and maybe it has—or maybe it has not. Maybe you failed love. Maybe you should have fought.

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation”

– Khalil Gibran

**

© The Short Black Girl, 2016.

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25 thoughts on “Secrets of a Virgin Girl (7).

  1. What a great 7 episodes..
    But me is disappointed,
    In my version, Ma wasn’t supposed to win.
    There was a Lara and Sogo happily ever after
    But I have also been around long enough to know that my mother is always right.
    Thank you for writing it, again when you write a book my showing up at book signing is still a promise.
    And if course let’s do this again

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ikomusana, you are a star! Thank you so much for your warm comment. And I promise that I feel as disappointed as you do at the turn of events between Lara and Sogo… but like it is said: “it is better to have loved and lost, than not having loved at all.”

      Thank you again. I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice… There’s always something about separation. It’s like someone pulled out from a well that he has been submerged into for hours; it takes time to recover, and the fear of drowning again makes you scared… Nice write up my friend. Pretty long tho

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know?! I love your analysis– and i’ll say it is just apt. Separating from a loved one is like being at cross-roads. Haunted by the past, afraid for the future; yet struggling to gain momentum in the present. Some heady feeling! I know it’s pretty long! Thanks for reading still. I appreciate you. ❤

      Like

    1. Yes!! I am joining @Mercy and @iKomusana’s campaign too! Lara should bring back our Sogo o! We miss him. 😭😭 Lol! 😂😂

      Thank you so much Mercy for your kind words. I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not going to cry. I already wasted all my tears on a funeral in a movie I watched last night (litearlly). But, I gotta say Me, I saw this coming. There’s always gotta be a twist, no matter how much we don’t want it. Life barely ever hands us lemons; it hands us shit most of the time, but we get to make fertilizers if we are smart. That said, Bring Back our Sogo!!! 😠

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lool @ wasting your tears on a funeral in a movie! I can totally relate to that 😂😂 And ‘m glad it did not come to you as a surprise, because indeed like you said– life is not a bed of roses. It gives us what it will, and we are left with the choice of what to do with what we are given.

      Thank you so much for your encouraging comments through this series and everywhere else! I thoroughly appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahah! That’s definitely a tempting line of thought… but who knows? The ways of life and love ehn– now add to that the dicy nature of signs and omens… it’s hard to say what is and what is not. #sigh

      Thank you so much luv’ly 😘!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Iwalewa 😍😍😘!!! It’s so good to read from you after a long while. Thank you so much. And I am very glad you enjoyed the series.

      I hope that your writing block soon ebbs away completely! You are very much appreciated. ❤

      Like

  4. you ended this too fast…too early. fear maybe?
    that said, sogo had a right to be angry, heck, I am angry! not at the separation, no, but at the speed of such decision by Lara. almost looks like she had been waiting for the perfect excuse to break up!
    she received a phone call, cried for say an hour, sleeps for 90 minutes, and then breaks a 6 month relationship, one she has been looking for all her life. is it that easy to make such decisions?
    I do not understand it. But Me, and Omolara understands.

    nice work Me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll admit that I rushed over this series– maybe a tad bit. That said, I like to think that people handle things differently. Call Lara impulsive, and maybe you would be right. Call her afraid, you won’t be any farther from the truth too. Not everyone bears the calm of mind to make the best decisions at times like this. Maybe Lara would regret it, maybe the decision will haunt her for many more years to come, maybe she would get back with Sogo, maybe that is honestly the end… who knows? The only thing I am certain of is that when it comes to decisions like this, maybe there really is no right or wrong way to go about it, because only the one wearing the shoe knows where it hurts most. Plus there’s this saying that goes something like: “the heart has its reasons, that reason itself does not know”… these things are just a tad complicated. #sigh

      Thank you so much for re-visiting the series and offering your thoughts throughout. I appreciate you, and I honestly hope to do a better and finer job next time. 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow. Choices do come in different flavours. The ones forced down on us proves a hard nut to crack because we tend to see through the eyes of our experienced mentors. Are we ever going be gladly wrong and learn? probably make wiser choices….

    I like the flow. Kudos.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Truth Drastevo! When the people we revere offer their opinions to us, with or without being sought, it becomes quite difficult to do otherwise… #sigh

      Thank you so much for reading and dropping a heartfelt comment Drastevo. I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  6. 😦
    Sometimes it is really nice that writers aren’t the real Almighties in this universe…but again, what do we know? Perhaps, we have Him as a writer, defining the course of our beings. However it goes, we survive and smile, looking on in hope… not like Lara.
    Interesting tale. This one sure is different from the steam and gathered collection from the previous posts.
    Life places a lot of expectations and thoughts. Love supremely tears us – or wears us. For better or for worse. But the decisions keep coming. I am a believer in the redemptive power of love and fighting… This was one long long tale and keeping up was interesting. Now, we are through, we will live to learn and wait on another tale.
    Well done Me… May your ink bleed more hope and beauty into our lives. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen. Very long tale, indeed. Thank you for being patient with me, and reading on through to the very end. I appreciate you. And too, thanks for the kind comment.

      True! However our stories turn out as written and ordained by the Master Planner, we take it in stride, smile through it, and come out– albeit dented and scarred– as survivors. What’s key is the element of survival! And we must fight where we can. Fight and satisfy ourselves that we at least tried, if nothing else, to see things end differently, better…

      Thanks Su’. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What really is the measure of the satisfaction? And how do we know that we really did all that we could have done at that time? I guess that’s the need for the constant forward movement…
        Let the fight take us to the right (places)… May we survive the times and get far better. Amen!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Some part me loves that it’s ended, it’s gives a sense of completeness and zero suspense afterwards. The other part wants this to continue so that Omolara would meet the perfect match.

    I hope she finds love!

    This has been nice to read…Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I understand that feeling Ridwan. This story did leave me torn apart, between writing another part and just letting the ink spill end there.

      I do hope she finds love too.

      Thank you so much for the feedback through the Series. It was interesting going through your comments sequentially, gauging your emotions and reactions to each week’s plot, all in one day! Thank you for giving us your time. We appreciate you. ❤

      Like

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