Yesterday, I was on a call with a friend and we got talking about pseudo- relationships and signals. Here is the gist– sometimes, we meet people we feel really free with and very much endeared to, that we would get carried away to calling, texting and chatting that person up often- friendly and innocently too, you see-, until it gets to that stage, where someone realises that he/she can’t do without having a feel of the other person in a day. Dang! Love? Or more subtly, liiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkeeeeee? Worse still, the feeling is not always very mutual; because it turns out the lady was just being a friend, or the man was just being a gentleman. And at that point, it maybe gets too late to turn back the hands of time. Now, this is no lazy romance story plot, it is really how most of these relationships start out. And then heartbreak follows…
To prevent this kind of things, I believe a lot of us have grown to be able to detect the tell-tale signs from the very beginning, where we then launch out to slay any growing intentions– and pray peace to remain still. It is at such times we start to employ tactics like zoning; calling the man brother/brother-in-the-lord or the lady sister/sister-in-christ. But the game gets old, and sometimes, people don’t get the message; as then is when they even come on stronger, undettered.
I am a fan of not sampling things you don’t have intentions of eating; more, don’t even let it appear that you are checking it out, lest it gets the wrong signals. Understandably, you would imagine how strong an advocate of cutting unwanted fangs off at the very beginning that I am. So there are three ways people of old have gone about it–
1) Be forthright with your thoughts and say “I see you appear to really like me, but I can’t date you”, where you might turn out throughly embarrassed if he/she doesn’t even like you in that manner.
2) Zone the brother/sister; where to your dismay, an un-suspecting brother or sister will not even be able to read the subtle signals.
3) Claim to have a boyfriend/girlfriend; where you’ll so be on your own… because a 21st Century man or woman takes that as a challenge to win you over by hook or crook.
Here then lies the dilemma! How do you successfully ward off suspected unwanted advances?
© The Short Black Girl, 2015.