As you grow and advance in age, might, and thoughts, certain things become clearer. You become more aware of who you are, what you want, what you need, who should stay, and who can leave. You make mistakes, you get scolded, and then you maybe learn from the lessons of your fall, at which point you start to ponder on how to become a better you. Friends will come with their smiles, filling moments with the sweetness of love and care. Boys will come into the picture, telling you things like ‘you fine, will you be mine?’, ‘can we hang out?’ ‘Damn babe, you hot!!’ They will swear they love what you’re doing, and who you are just so they can get the ‘cookie in the jar’. But you’re wise, or maybe you’ve been a victim one too many times in the past, so you know they ain’t getting none, cos they shouldn’t! You know you should only do those things that’ll make you fulfilled. You begin to understand that nothing will last forever- not those sweet girlfriends because they can be ‘bitchy’ at times; not those boyfriends because though they like you, they are not mature enough to be there without wishing to be ‘there’. You realise life should be counted in moments. You stop expecting, and start preparing! You think less of birthdays, and think more about everyday! You stop ‘speacialising’ people because we’re all the very same fallible human beings. You learn to smile every time even when your heart’s ripped up inside. You smile even more in the face of foes, because you know nothing be killing them more than that. You learn that the best things in life are not the most attractive. You learn to believe. You learn to be happy. You learn that little does more, and that one or two true friends or maybe your family alone, is better than a thousand fans, and a million friends! You begin to see life from a different perspective- as a journey rather than the destination. You learn that the most beautiful thing in life is happiness- happiness with yourself, happiness for others. You realise that the most important thing in life is gratitude- to God, your family and everyone. You begin to see that respect given is respect earned. You realise that every disappointment has gotta be the beginning of the fulfilment of all your dire needs because you’re a believer and a worshipper, and children of God never lack. You learn that trust is over rated; you surprise yourself, so why won’t some brother or sister out there surprise you? You realise that Karma is really a bitch, and what goes around comes around. So if you’re a faithful babe, and that brother be cheating on you, maybe he’s not just your dude. Though you may not always get worth commensurate to what you give, you should know what you deserve and fight for it!
As you grow and advance, you learn that you’re imperfect, beautiful, and that someone out there really loves you- God! You learn to trust God more for the best. You realise you’re lucky and blessed. You realise that all you have is yourself, and that what you make of yourself determines what others will make of you.
Eventually, Life will happen, things will change, people will go, and memories will fade; but I hope you grow to learn also that regardless of what happens and in everything you do, you have to remain your best. Your race is yours to be run; your battle, yours to be fought… Focus. Keep up. No one will run better in your shoes. No one can fight your war for you.
Growing up is a phase, a process and a course of life.. I hope somehow sometime you learn this too.
© The Short Black Girl, 2013.